Chapter 17- Monday 30th June 2008
Now for something completely different.
Today I am going to talk about ‘Signs’. Yep!! I have to take photos cos they crack me up. Jappy English!! Some of the T shirts walking around – if they realized what some of the stuff says they would freak!!! I try to get photos when I can but T shirts, unfortunately, move too fast to shoot. I have however been able to record, for prosperity, some wonderful cultural examples of ‘Jappy English’. You would reckon that if they are going to all the trouble to manufacture and print an item that they would do the research and get the English right!!!! So please enjoy, as we have, the following photo record!!
Also have had sooooooooooooo many comments on my ‘Toilet’ information that I am repeating it here (with bonus features & new photos!!)
They have a thing here called toilet ‘mannamode’ (they have it for mobiles too – you are not allowed to talk on the trains or have the phone ring so they put them on silent and sms a lot.) (see photo scroll down).
Well ‘mannamode’ for the loos is the other way around. In some public loos when you walk into the stall a flushing sound starts as soon as you sit down.
First time it happened I jumped up and nearly hit the roof thinking the toilet was going to flush on me (lucky I had not started…..if you know what I mean!!!) Well………….the flushing sound is so that we can’t hear each other ‘go’!
Very polite!!! There is also in some loos ‘child minders’ (see photo!) They think of everything here. There are also disposable paper seat cover dispensers with squirty seat cleaning bottles on the wall so you can clean your seat and cover it before and after you sit down. What with all the sounds, squirts, cleaners and covers, buttons and flushers, going to the loo is a major operation and you need a university degree to figure it all ouT and it takes some time!!! The basins also have automatic stuff too. There are two in one soap and water taps. You just hold your hands under the picture of the soap and it squirts a blob in your hand then you move across to the picture of the water and it washes your hands. You don’t have to touch a thing. Then there are these tall funny looking machines and you put your hands in (like a goalie at the footy when Acka kicks a goal!) and you get blown half away by the fans, but your hands get really dry, not like the pithy ones at home!!! The Japanese know a thing or too about going to the loo, I can tell you! They have got it down to a fine art!
(Excerpt from Chapter -1) Now our toilet has a personality all its own. The fan goes on when you sit down and the seat heats up as well. When you are done you can squirt (special places) they have pictures so you know where the water is going and you can adjust the flow, pressure, temp etc to your liking!!! If you know what I mean!!! Then you push another button and you get dried with the nice fan aimed ever so exactly! Then when you flush the water goes through a tap/basin at the top of the cistern so you can wash your hands and not waste the new fresh water filling up the loo!!! All very, very civilized if you ask me!! We were so taken with these loos last time we were here that we bought one and had it installed at home but we have never been able to get it to work (something to do with the voltage being different) we just have to find an electrician who knows about these things). Anyway we have a very expensive loo seat at home with no squirts!!! (see bonus up to the minute- photos)
(Excerpt from Chapter 13) Speaking of loos (had heaps of feedback from you all with regard to my last description of our loo so here is some more information – very important if you are a visitor.) It’s the ‘squat and drops’! “What is that?” You ask! Well they are traditional style loos that have been ‘modernised’ so pretty much tear shaped porcelain holes at ground level with flushers that you have to squat frontwards over (for the girls only!) don’t know what the boys do haven’t been in their loos to see. (Note: “Ask Brian?”) The problem is that some are cleaner than others (depends if you are in a building –like our venue for workshops (clean) or ‘the stations’ (not so clean). Some places have maybe one ‘western style’ loo but a lot do not. So I have learned to balance on one foot and carefully remove my shoe while I delicately lift anything that may accidentally ‘dangle’ in places that are ‘dangerous’ and at the same time concentrate and ‘aim straight’………….not so easy boys I can tell you!!!!
Well I think I have given you a ‘picture’. (Note: to our Aussie visitors – wear skirts – pants are harder to delicately dangle!!)
Now that you have all been educated on the fine art of loos in Japan you will all be prepared and forewarned for the arduous task of navigation through the portals of Looland! May the force be with you!
See you soon for another flushing good yarn of “MARTINSSSSSSS INNNNN JAPANNNNNNNNNNNNN!”
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